Where Every Connection Becomes a Bond
You’re sitting at a dinner party, and someone is talking excitedly about their golf weekend.
You nod along, make approving sounds. But internally? You’re thinking about how you’d rather be literally anywhere else—sitting at home reading, taking a walk alone, or literally anything but hitting a ball around an overpriced field.
Yet you pretend because everyone else seems to enjoy it. Because saying “I actually hate this” feels like admitting you’re different, weird, out of step with the group.
The truth is that we all do this constantly. We pretend to enjoy things because of social pressure, fear of judgment, or the desperate need to belong to a group.
Psychology calls this “impression management”—the performance we put on to give others (and ourselves) the impression that we’re cultured, happy, cool, or acceptable.
Here are nine things people routinely pretend to enjoy just to feel like they’re part of the group.
1. Networking Events and “Making Connections”
The pressure to expand your network, meet new people, and “make meaningful connections” is relentless—especially in professional environments.
So you drag yourself to another networking event: uncomfortable small talk with strangers, forced smiles, exchanging business cards with people you’ll never think about again.
But here’s the secret: most people hate it. They hate the superficiality, the awkwardness, the pressure to “sell themselves,” and the exhausting performance of pretending to be interested in someone’s startup or business idea.
Yet everyone shows up and acts like they’re having the time of their lives because they believe it’s necessary for career advancement or social status.
In reality, you could probably build more meaningful professional relationships by just being authentic and investing in fewer, deeper connections—but the culture of networking says that’s not enough.
2. Hearing About Other People’s Kids
This is the acceptable lie that gets told constantly.
Your friend launches into a 15-minute story about their kid’s soccer game, their toddler’s funny mispronunciation, or their teenager’s drama at school.
You smile, nod, and say “That’s so cute!” or “Oh, that’s hilarious!” But you’re not genuinely entertained. You’re performing the role of an engaged friend who cares about kid content.
This happens so frequently that it’s become normalized. No one actually admits that unsolicited kids stories can be mind-numbingly boring or that they’re forcing themselves to care about a child they barely know.
The social contract says: parents get to talk about their kids endlessly, and everyone else has to pretend it’s delightful.
3. Golf and “Leisurely Sports”
Golf is perhaps the most famous example of something everyone pretends to like but secretly despises.
Hitting a ball around a field for hours. Getting sunburned. The slow pace. The expense. The predictability.
Yet men especially feel obligated to enjoy golf because it’s associated with status, business deals, and masculine bonding rituals.
People drink beer to make it tolerable. They force enthusiasm about their swing or their score. But if we’re being honest, most people would be happier doing almost anything else.
The lie persists because admitting you hate golf feels like admitting you’re not part of the “in crowd”—the guys who play golf, do business deals on the course, and fit into a certain professional archetype.
4. Social Media Presence and “Thought Leadership”
LinkedIn is basically a humble-bragging competition disguised as professional networking.
People craft carefully curated posts about their accomplishments, their insights, their lives. They scroll through and comment on others’ content. They build their “brand.”
But almost nobody actually enjoys it. It feels cringey and performative because it is cringey and performative.
People do it because they believe it’s necessary for career advancement or because they fear being left behind if they’re not “building their personal brand.”
But the performance—the constant need to share, to prove your worth, to project success—is exhausting. And yet, everyone continues pretending that they’re genuinely passionate about sharing their “thoughts and insights” on social media.
5. Crowded Bars and Club Culture
The setup: loud music you can’t hear yourself think over, a packed dance floor of strangers, overpriced drinks, poor air quality.
People show up, get drunk, dance awkwardly around people they don’t know, and somehow this is supposed to be fun.
The reality: most people find the whole thing exhausting and overstimulating. Loud noise gives them anxiety. Dancing with strangers feels awkward. Trying to have a conversation is impossible.
Yet they keep going because it’s what young people are “supposed” to do. It’s the social rite of passage. Not going means you’re boring, antisocial, or can’t let loose.
So they pretend to have the time of their lives while internally counting the minutes until they can go home.
6. Health Trends (Kale, Jogging, CrossFit)
There’s enormous social pressure to be seen as health-conscious and disciplined.
So people take up jogging, eat kale, join CrossFit gyms, and post about their fitness routines on Instagram—often because they feel like they should, not because they genuinely enjoy these things.
Jogging is often cited as something people hate but do anyway because it’s viewed as virtuous.
Kale tastes bitter and unpleasant to most people, but eating it has become a marker of health consciousness and being “the right kind” of person.
The pressure to appear healthy and disciplined is so strong that people will pursue activities they actively dislike, all to project an image of wellness to others.
7. Excessive Alcohol Consumption
Going out and getting “black-out drunk” is treated as a fun, harmless part of nightlife and social culture.
But ask yourself honestly: is blacking out actually enjoyable? Do people genuinely have fun when they can’t remember what happened?
The answer for most people is no. Yet there’s social pressure to drink heavily, to match your friends’ consumption, to “let loose” in ways that often result in regrettable behavior or health consequences.
People pretend that getting obliterated is a good time because that’s the cultural narrative around drinking and partying. But the trend toward “sober-curious” drinking and reduced alcohol consumption suggests that most people are actually tired of pretending this is enjoyable.
8. Small Talk and Superficial Conversations
How are you? Fine. How was your weekend? Good. What did you do? Oh, just relaxed.
These exchanges are the scripts we follow to seem normal and friendly, even though they’re often painfully boring for everyone involved.
Most people would prefer deeper, more meaningful conversations, but they default to small talk because it feels safer.
Small talk is a performance. It’s a way of saying “I am a normal, social person” without actually revealing anything real about yourself or inviting genuine connection.
People pretend to enjoy these interactions because admitting that you find them tedious or that you crave deeper conversations feels like admitting you’re socially awkward or “too much.”
9. Hustle Culture and Constant Productivity
“Live your best life.” “Grind.” “No days off.” “Sleep is for the weak.”
There’s enormous social pressure to appear busy, productive, ambitious, and constantly working toward bigger goals.
But the truth is that most people are exhausted and burnt out. They don’t enjoy the constant grind; they’re doing it because they believe it’s required for success or because they fear being perceived as lazy or unmotivated.
People pretend to be passionate about their side hustles, their 5 AM workouts, their endless self-improvement projects. They post about their productivity wins. But beneath the performance, many are quietly struggling with burnout, anxiety, and the erosion of their mental health.
Here’s what needs to happen: we need to collectively give ourselves permission to stop pretending.
Stop pretending you love golf when you hate it. Stop pretending unsolicited kid stories are fascinating. Stop pretending small talk feels genuine. Stop pretending you enjoy things that actually drain you.
The irony is that when you finally admit your authentic preferences, you often find that other people feel relieved. They’ve been pretending too. They were waiting for permission to admit they hate golf, find networking events soul-crushing, and would rather spend their weekend reading alone than going out.
Belonging doesn’t actually require pretending. It requires finding your people—the ones who appreciate you for who you actually are, not who you’re performing to be.
Yes, there are certain situations where a bit of social grace is necessary (you don’t trash-talk your in-laws’ home decor at their dinner party). But there’s a difference between basic politeness and the exhausting performance of pretending to enjoy things that fundamentally bore or drain you.
Give yourself permission to opt out of the things that don’t serve you. Skip the networking event and build real relationships instead. Say you’re tired instead of forcing enthusiasm. Choose activities because you want to, not because you think you’re supposed to.
Because the deepest irony of all is this: the moment you stop pretending and start being authentic, you become more interesting, not less. You become someone worth actually belonging to a group with—because you’re being real.
