The 14 Types Of Women Who Date Married Men

She knows he’s married.

She knows he’s not leaving his wife.

But she stays anyway—choosing the secrecy, the lies, and the emotional scraps of a man who belongs to someone else.

Research reveals that women who date married men aren’t a monolith—they come from different psychological profiles, motivations, and emotional wounds.

These are the 14 types of women who knowingly choose unavailable men.

The Woman With Low Self-Esteem

She doesn’t believe she’s worthy of a man who’s fully available.

Research confirms that low self-worth and little sense of value drive some women to accept relationships where they’ll never be first.

She subconsciously believes she doesn’t deserve better—so she settles for a man who can only offer her fragments of his time and attention.

Deep down, she knows she can’t have a real relationship with him, and that aligns with what she believes she deserves.

The Woman Who Craves Validation Through Competition

She sees his wife as a rival—and winning him over becomes a psychological conquest.

Research shows that intrasexual competition spurs some women to pursue married men, seeking ego-boosting validation through “winning” against another woman.

When she successfully attracts a married man, it temporarily elevates her self-esteem—proof that she’s desirable enough to pull a man away from his wife.

But this validation is hollow, fleeting, and rooted in comparison rather than genuine connection.

The Emotionally Unavailable Woman

She’s not capable of true intimacy—so she chooses men who can’t offer it either.

Research confirms that emotionally unavailable women gravitate toward married men because the relationship has built-in distance.

She doesn’t have to be fully vulnerable. She doesn’t have to risk real commitment. She can keep him at arm’s length while pretending she wants more.

The Woman Who Fears Abandonment

Ironically, some women date married men because they’re terrified of being left.

The logic goes: if he’s married and cheating with me, I know he’s not cheating on me.

She controls the distance, manages the terms, and avoids the risk of full investment—because if she never fully commits, she can’t be fully abandoned.

The Woman Looking For Convenience

She doesn’t want full-time commitment—she wants flexibility.

Research shows that some women date married men because it allows them to maintain emotional and sexual freedom without the pressure of a traditional relationship.

Since he’s already taken, she has less responsibility to him—and that leftover time and energy can go to other men or pursuits.

The Woman Drawn To Preselection

If another woman chose him, he must be valuable.

Research published in the Journal of Human Nature reveals that “mate choice copying” drives some women to find married men more attractive.

When a man is already wanted by another woman, he automatically becomes an object of desire—his marriage becomes proof that he’s partner material.

The Woman Seeking Drama And Intensity

Some women thrive on chaos.

Research shows that the drama and dysfunctional dynamic of an affair fuels neurosis for some women—they’re addicted to the highs and lows.

The secrecy, the risk of getting caught, the forbidden nature of the relationship creates excitement and intensity that stable, available relationships can’t provide.

The Woman Motivated By Revenge

She’s been hurt before—and now she wants someone else to feel that pain.

Research confirms that some women who’ve been betrayed seek out married men intentionally, driven by a desire to hurt another woman the way they were hurt.

It’s not about the man—it’s about inflicting the same wound she once received.

The Woman With Unresolved Family Of Origin Issues

Her childhood normalized dysfunction, affairs, or emotional unavailability.

Research shows that women with family histories where affairs were tolerated or modeled often repeat those patterns.

She doesn’t recognize red flags because her environment taught her that this is what relationships look like.

The Woman Who Loves The Challenge

She’s bored with her life and craves conquest.

Research confirms that some women are driven by ego and the thrill of “winning” a man who’s off-limits.

The chase becomes the prize—not the relationship itself.

The Woman Addicted To Passion

When a married man courts a woman, he takes a huge risk—and that risk feels like deep commitment.

Research shows that the intensity, secrecy, and effort required for an affair creates an illusion of passion that single men rarely match.

He texts constantly. He plans secret dates. He whispers how much he wants her—and she interprets this as devotion, not manipulation.

By comparison, single men seem distant, uninterested, or noncommittal—while the married man performs desire perfectly because his time with her is stolen and therefore precious.

The Woman Who Distrusts Men Completely

She’s decided she’ll never trust a man—so she chooses one who proves her right.

Research shows that some women date married men because they’ve already accepted betrayal as inevitable.

If he’s cheating with her, she knows he’s capable of lying—so she’s not shocked when he disappoints her.

The Woman Engaging In Self-Sabotage

She gets what she subconsciously believes she deserves—and if she gets more, she sabotages it.

Research confirms that the Law of Deservedness drives some women to choose unavailable men because deep down, they don’t believe they’re worthy of a real, committed relationship.

This is trauma manifesting as relationship choices.

The Jealous, Immoral Woman

Some women date married men out of pure jealousy and narcissism.

Research shows that these women want to destroy another woman’s happiness—they use sex as a tool to lure married men, and sometimes even blackmail them.

This isn’t about love or connection—it’s about power, destruction, and cruelty.

What This Means For You

If you’re dating a married man, it’s time to ask yourself the hard questions:

• Am I here because I genuinely believe this relationship has a future—or because I’m afraid of what a real, available relationship would require?
• Am I staying because I love him—or because I’m comfortable with emotional distance?
• Do I believe I’m worthy of someone who chooses me fully, publicly, and without conditions?

Research shows that the majority of women who enter affairs with married men report that they do so because they’re in love—but most married men who cheat are not thinking about leaving their wives.

There’s often a vast disconnect between what she’s thinking and what he’s thinking.

You’re not getting emotional satisfaction. You’re second in his life. His loyalty lies elsewhere.

And psychologically, this dynamic reveals a lack of self-love and self-worth.

You deserve more than stolen moments, secret texts, and a man who will never fully belong to you.

You deserve someone who chooses you openly, proudly, and completely.

If you’re stuck in this pattern, it’s time to heal the wounds driving you toward unavailable men—because no matter how he makes you feel in those fleeting moments, you will always be the other woman.

And you deserve to be someone’s only woman.